hello world,
woke up at 10.30. went to the dentist to hv my braces checked. pick up some raya cookies for dear mumsie at a friend's hse. send the brownies cheese swirl to nik's hse. had to refuse a game of wii and guitar hero with nik since i had to rush to the tailor's to pick up my raya clothes. upon arriving home,mumsie called to tell tht we're going to the tailor tmrw instead -.- could hv gone back to nik's hse but was too sleepy to do so. decided to take a short nap instead. one hr turned into two hrs which then turned into three hrs. finally i woke up. HAHA. oh great,since studying wld be the last thing i wld do in the next three days,i hv to rly sit down tday and cram everything inside this little brain of mine. just great -.- better start now so tht i can get it over with. tooooooooodles bby :)
ohmygod,eid's just arnd the corner. two more days to be exact. woots bby wooooooots :D but i hv yet to learn how to walk in my new heels -.-
♥,
aniss :)
hello world,
as planned,the search for the killer wedges and bright yellow handbag continued. after the tortureous hlf an hr walk arnd OU,my prayers were finally answered. no,sadly i could not find the yellow wedges tht i hv been wishing for. but instead,the most gorgeous pair of heels caught my eyes. i immediately fell in love with it's metallic shade of yellow. and the silver lining at the side. gaaaahh ;o i just had to hv it :) mumsie got all excited cause surprise surprise,it's my first ever heels. haahaa. other items which i bought was a yellow handbag,an earring with the word 'nose',a cute top,new lingeries and a yellow necklace. had a manicure too since its an all girls day out. now,im getting more and more excited for the upcoming eid :)
gaaaahh ! i only hv exactly two days to learn how to walk in heels o.O wish me luuuuuuck.
♥,
aniss :)
SATURDAY
hello world,
in high hopes of achieving nothing except A's and B's for the upcoming finals,i headed off to the bookstore tday. browsed through a couple of exercise books. found some books with rly nice covers. im sry,but yess i do judge a book by its cover,literally. but doesn't everyone ? flipped through the pages and scanned through the contents. with a satisfied grin,i walked to the cashier with not just one,but three books in hand. again with high hopes plus the new books in hand,i made my way home to actually start my revisions for the upcoming finals. the brain cramming session lasted for a full two and hlf hrs. woots. took a short nap to de-stressed myself. woke up when mumsie asked to accompany her to bangsar village and jalan telawi. now,who in their right mind would pass up an invite for a shopping treat at jalan telawi ? definitely not me :) so i followed her to pick some raya cookies. yumm :) then,we walked arnd for awhile in hopes of finding a purse and a killer wedges,both in bright yellow. it's for the upcoming eid. i decided to opt for bright and bold accessories ths yr :D but apparently luck was not on my side tday as i cldnt find any nice purses nor cld i find the killer wedges i was looking for :s oh well,mumsie promised to bring me to one utama and curve tmrw in order to continue our last minute shopping trip bfore the upcoming eid. so im crossing my fingers tht luck wld be on my side tmrw. now, it's off for another of tht brain cramming session. one hr perhaps ? and omigoddd the third season of heroes is out ! and and the fourth episode of gossip girls too. guess i wld be sleeping late again tonight. oh well,who cares ? tooooodles bby :)
♥,
aniss :)
note: taken from aisya's blog.
'16 September, about a week ago, marked the 12th year of my father’s death.
Because i was so caught up with my revision for trials, i completely forgot about it. I only remembered about it 3 days after. Ever since then, i could never stop thinking about it.
” You used to call me your angel,
Said I was sent straight down from heaven.”
Ive been thinking about how i cant remember how his voice sounded like, how it felt like when i wrapped my arms around him when we rode around our housing area in Damansara on his big motorbike every evening, how he never failed to cheer me up by playing his guitar whenever i cried of being upset about something, how he loved to make my siblings and i laugh, how much he enjoyed taking candid photos of us. And the list goes on.
Ive also been thinking about how no one has ever asked me what really happened. The details, i mean. Not even my very close friends. Whenever i tell people that my dad passed away years ago, they would always apologize. A few seconds of an awkward pause, and they would ask for the cause. I would say, “A motorbike accident,” and that would be it. They would immediately change the subject after that.
Well, i don’t blame them. It’s not really a picnic, talking about it. But i wouldn’t mind telling (:
“You’d hold me close in your arms,
I loved the way you felt so strong.”
There’s not much that i remember about that day. But, although it happened 12 years ago, i do remember how it went.
It all started with a phone call. Well, don’t they always? My dad had left for work, outstation, perhaps a few days before we received the phone call.
I remember i was hanging around in my parents’ bedroom.
I remember my mum about to take a shower.
I remember it being around dusk.
I remember my sister and my brother, who were four and three at that time, were watching tv downstairs.
I remember hearing the phone ring. I cant remember who answered it, perhaps it was our maid.
I remember my mum picking up the call, said some words and listened.
I remember knowing immediately that something bad has happened to my dad when the phone slipped from my mum’s hand as she dropped herself to the floor and started crying.
I remember picking up the phone and gently pressing it to my right ear. “Hello?” i said. “Aisya?” It was a man’s voice, but until now i do not know who this person was. “Aisya, umi mana? Aisya? Aisya?” I couldnt answer him. I just listened to him calling my name several times while i looked at my mum on the floor, crying and half-dressed.
I remember seeing my grandmother and perhaps a friend of my mum’s running up the stairs to attend to my mum. They knew. They already knew. They rushed to our house as soon as they were told and arrived not a moment too soon.
I remember hanging up the call and thinking that i should get some clothes for my mum because her friend was there.
I also remember that i was feeling so afraid. But i did my very best to keep the tears from falling.
“I never wanted you to leave,
I wanted you to stay here holding me.”
The next day, we were all at our grandparents’ house in PJ. I remember waiting outside for my dad’s body to arrive. They had said that his body would arrive in a van. I remember imagining the van to be white, so i just kept to myself while waiting for the white van to arrive. After what felt like ages, it finally did.
The memory of this particular scene is pretty vague in my mind. But i can remember that i was feeling very angry.
The reason for the anger was that i didn’t get to even catch a glimpse of my dad when they carried his body inside. There were so many people. The house was overly crowded and i remember of wanting to yell at everyone because i wanted to see him so badly after waiting for what felt like a very long time. I wanted to cry and hurt everyone for making such a fuss of getting his body inside. But even in my five-year old mind, i knew tantrums would only make matters worse.
I remember being inside my grandparents’ room with my my mum, my grandma, my siblings and my aunt. There were also many ladies there but i cant remember any of them. They were all sitting around my mum on the floor, comforting her along with my grandma.
I remember jumping around on the bed with my siblings and my aunt who was 11 at that time. I remember my aunt suddenly dropping herself to the floor, stared into space and started crying, silently. I stopped jumping and sat myself on the edge of the bed next to her. I looked at her and i looked at my mum. Unlike my aunt, my mum’s eyes were red and blotchy. I decided then that i hated the sight altogether. But i still didn’t cry. Not even a single tear.
I remember stepping out of the room and stopping dead in my tracks as i saw two rows of women formed, making a pathway from the door of the room to the center of the living room. As i surveyed the area, i saw my grandma (my dad’s mum) sitting among the women, sobbing furiously. I went to her and i hugged her. I remember thinking about how she didn’t deserve this and it just wasn’t fair.
She hugged my sister and my brother too. They had followed me out without me realizing. I remember that while they were hugging my grandma, i thought about how confusing this all must seem to them. Even as a five-year old, i remember telling myself that i had to stay strong for everyone. For my siblings, my grandma and especially my mum.
“I miss you, I miss your smile,
And I still shed a tear, every once in a while.”
My memories are somewhat failing me for some of the things that happened after. Maybe they aren’t that important to remember. The next thing i do remember is finally getting to see my dad.
His body was already bathed (a must for Muslims before we’re buried) and he was already wrapped inside the white ‘kain kapan’. All we could see was his face.
I would never be able to describe how i felt when i saw his face. It was really hurtful, it broke my heart. He had a very long cut on his forehead and short, small ones on the other parts of his face. His cheeks, his nose, they were everywhere. I heard someone behind me whispering to another person that one of my dad’s shoulder was dislocated and his arm broke. All i could think about was how ugly the accident must have been. And i wanted nothing than to hug that lifeless body of his. But i couldnt. They didn’t let me. We were only allowed to each give him a kiss.
I remember getting on my knees and leaning my head very close to my dad’s. I looked at him before kissing him for the last time. I looked at him and thought about how i couldnt remember when he last kissed me. The tears wanted so much to come then. But i still held them back, reminding myself that i had to.
At the cemetery, i watched as some guys prepared the grave for my dad’s body. I remember it being hot and i remember complaining to my mum about it. I remember my mum saying that our driver, who was taking the umbrellas from the car, will be with us in a very short while.
I remember standing so still under an umbrella, being not too close, but nearest among others to the grave. I remember praying to God, silently as they lowered his body down. I remember wanting to go nearer to get a last look. I remember a hand, wrapping itself tightly around mine, holding me back, as i watched the hole of the grave being filled with earth, and with my dad’s body, six feet under.
“And even though it’s different now, you’re still here somehow
My heart won’t let you go, and I need you to know…”
That night, we all stayed at my grandparents’ house. My family slept in the same room as well as our maid. My mum, my sister and i slept on a queen-sized bed, with my sister in the middle and me at the far end right next to a wall, while my brother and my maid slept on the floor. I remember us talking, but about what, i cant remember. Perhaps my mum was explaining to us what had happened.
I remember it being quiet suddenly. I remember lifting my head up a little and seeing that everyone had fallen asleep. So right then, i turned to face the wall, covered my head with a pillow and finally let myself cry.
I feel terrible for forgetting that day. Ive never forgotten the 16th of Sept before and i cant believe i let myself get so caught up with the exams that i forgot all about it.
But i can never forget about my dad. I might not be the greatest daughter a parent could ask for, but i love my dad very much. Even after all these years, i pray for him. Every single day, i pray for him.
May Allah bless his soul.
“I miss you.”
it's taken from aisya's blog. she's my sister incase you didnt know.
now,im mad at myself. for not remembering the date. for not even remembering wht actually happened tht day. for not even remembering wht it feels like to have him around. why must i be so small and naive ? i want the memories of him to stay in my mind too like it stayed in my sister's. but the memory now is like really far away. oh how imissyou and iloveyou.
♥,
aniss :)
hello world,
two periods of physics,two periods of add maths and two periods of chemistry. all in one day. im all drained out. i hv no will to do my homework anymore. let alone study for the upcoming finals -.- i've had enough. oh well,time to hit the sack. goodnight. sweet dreams :)
♥,
aniss :)
hello world,
skipped scl tday due to another gastric attack. still wanted to continue fasting so i went bck to bed. felt much much better after the seven hrs sleep :) did a few add maths equations until my brain felt like it was gonna pop out ;O watched a few episodes of greys. im only left with two episode. woots :) feeling all 'chemistry-ish' tnight. haha. so,off for a chemistry study session. but not bfore watching one more episode of greys. just one more,i promise :) heehee
♥,
aniss :)
hello world,
i dont feel like bloggin tday. i just finished downloading the third episode of gossip girls season 2. so go figure :) gotta run. my oh-so-sexy ed westwick is waiting,grr ;p xoxo
♥,
aniss :)
hello world,
here comes the monday blues. i went to scl way too early tday. 7.10 in the morn to be exact. it was still kinda dark tht time. and no one was arnd. no one i know tht is. i loitered outside of my classroom for awhile but i got scared aftr two minutes ;O shut up,it was still dark oky -.- so i quickly went into the hall where it was so bright and not so scary :D during assembly,saidah's name was called by a certain teacher. not saidah but saodah ;p lol. she was praised for coming late to scl for only three times in which one of them was the time when she was scared to leave her hse cause apparently some 'wild' dogs were roaming in front of her hse. HAHAHAHA. tht made the whole student body plus teachers burst out laughing. oh guess how many times i was late to scl ? no i wont tell you :) oky gotta run. homework time -.-
♥,
aniss :)
hello world,
my sunday was filled with the usuals. woke up when the sun was shining at its best. had a very looong shower. watched a few episodes of greys with a little bit of studying session crammed in between. break my fast with a plateful of delicious chicken rice. yumm :) now its homework time. joy to the world -.-
yeah, just another normal sunday.
♥,
aniss :)
hello world,
give me a reason to fall in love,
♥ 3 months bby :)
aniss :)
hello world,
surprised myself by waking up early this morning. 10.30 might not sound early to some of you guys but hey,its pretty early for me. walked to the mirror and screamed when i saw my hair standing out all over the place like a barbarian ;O had a quick shower and off i went to the saloon. i decided tht i need a new hairstyle. short perhaps ? and mayb some treatment to go with it. so now,
my long waves are gone :s
anyho,some of you might be wondering why i was out eventho i was grounded. haha ;p well let's just say tht my mum has yet to understand the concept of grounding. oky finee. mayb she just had a change of heart since it's the fasting month. but either way,im oky with it. woots :) all in all,
mille : i love your mummy too.
p/s pictures will be up in the next next post :]
aniss :)
hello world
im being selfish. i hv got to stop this nonsense. now. it's not fair to you. all of those sleepless nights. trying to find the meaning of of every little word you said to me. reasons why you utter all those words. but the truth is,there is nthg beneath those words. they're just words. i hv got to learn to be more optimist. to be able to see tht not everything needs a reason. this has to stop. i hv come to realized tht by now. thank you.
this post has nothing whatsoever to do with any particular person. it was just one of my random thoughts. or as they might called it,deep. crap,im so gonna get it from meels,saidah and nky at scl nxt mon. haha -.-
♥,
aniss :)
hello world,
beware the stare of mary shaw.
only dolls.
if you see her in your dreams,
be sure you never scream.
♥,
aniss :)
hello world,
wld you believe me if i tell you tht i hv miracalously completed all my homework? im guessing you wont. but i wld not hv believe it myself either if it was say,one month ago? yes,im a changed person. but only in the sense of completing my homework on time. i still hv not been able to force myself to start studying for the upcoming finals. tht is one thing i need to change abt myself. but it is just so hard. gaaaahhh -.- one more month to finals and what hv i studied so far?
♥.
aniss :)
hope you will have a great day today and a great life ahead of you.
and btw,yr a great cheerleader.no doubt :)
iloveyou maggster ♥
hello world,
apparently our dear english teachers think tht we are not rly tht good in spellings. thus,we were given a spelling test of abt fifty words. let me just say tht half of the words given are words tht we hv never ever heard of. let alone spell it -.- so it seems tht them teachers were right after all abt us being not tht good in spellings. hee hee :) some of the words tht were tested were nisi,voyeur and what-not. but but i've learned a lot of new words tday so thanks for the spelling test :]
oh oh,
tho yr sixteen now,yr always be a midget,my midget in my heart ;p
iloveyou girlfriend ♥
♥,
aniss :)
hello world,
i wanna fall asleep with you tonight,
i wanna dream away with you tonight,
we can go oh wherever we like,
i wanna feel how i wanna feel forever :)
aniss :)
hello world,
im stuck with mountain high of homeworks which mainly consists of lab reports and more lab reports. teachers are rushing to finish each subject. rushing,you may ask? it's been confirmed tht finals hv been brought forward due to some reasons. it will start on the 13th of october and will end on the 7th of november. thus,it explained the rushing. im praying tht the teachers wld be kind enough not to give us any homeworks during the raya break. i wld love to be able to enjoy a few days of raya without the interruption of homeworks and such. bfore hving to start my revisions for finals tht is. dear teachers,hv mercy on us :)
im so looking forward to hari raya aidilfitri. with the amount of money i wld get and the amount of food i cld eat,how can i not ? it wld be like a non-stop eating feast. wooooots ! :) tht is rly something to look forward to,agree ? hee hee :]
♥,
aniss :)
hello world,
science can explain how love affects the brain but not the mystery of how love affects the heart.
aniss :)
hello world,
my best girls,
eight totally different personalities in one. we are learning how to accept each other''s flaws. we are learning how to forgive and forget each other's mistakes. we are learning how to be more open with each other. we are learning how to trust each other. but most importantly,
we are learning how to love each other the way we used to before all of those dramas destroyed it :)
through ups and downs,thick and thin,the good and the bad times.
♥ iloveyouguys :)
aniss :)
hello world,
♥,
aniss :)
hello world,
the day started off well. with us running arnd the gallery during english lesson to look for clues for the treasure hunt. next up,we dissected a fish. we were all hoping tht it would be a frog. but instead,it was a fish. oh well,mayb next time perhaps? dissecting,or more like watching someone else dissected a fish was somehow or rather a disturbing experience. to see all the organs in a fish is cool but it'll make you not want to eat fish for at least one week ;9 HAHA. chemistry wasnt so boring tday. i managed to pay attention to what pn I was teaching throughout the whole class. now tht's a first :) then we had two free periods. woots :) jokes were shared and tears were shed. i wanted to share the jokes with my dear bloggers. but sadly,with this little brain of mine,i cant rly remember most of the punch lines -.- HAHAHAHAHA sry sry :] but i do remember one of the dirty jokes tht was told. but im guessing tht it's not rly appropriate to post abt it here as we hv teachers roaming around our blogs :) so again,sorry. anyho,the day ended well. just like how it started off :D
♥,
aniss :)
hello world,
♥,
aniss :)
hello world,
so,
i wont let what you did in the past change the way i feel about you now. the fact that you are trying really hard to change is already enough. i can already see those changes in you. struggling to be a better person. but just so you know,
xo
aniss :)
hello world,
bby, you are every minute of my every day :)
need i say more? i dnt think so.
♥,
aniss :)
hello world,
PROBABLY signing off
aniss :]
hello world,
oh wow,its already two in the morn. bt i am still not close to sleepy,yet. dear god,pls help me :| this is getting annoying. seriously. i need my beauty sleep -.- why can't i just fall asleep alrdy? -.-
MAYBE signing off
xoxo aniss :]
SATURDAY
hello world,
as a result of not sleeping at all on thursday night,i had a hard time sleeping lst night. my hobby now feels like a task. oh god,wht's wrong with me? ;O i only needed two hrs of sleep and i was alrdy fresh to go to scl. surprisingly,i didnt even feel the slightest bit sleepy during bio and chem lessons. now tht's a first. and when everyone had dozed off during bm lesson,i was still struggling to close my eyes. again,tht's a first. melee said i hv insomnia while saidah said im a knockturner. HAHAHAHAHA -.-
ohmygod,
guess what was the topic for english tday? unicorns ! good ol unicorns :) we had to draw our very own version of a unicorn. mine sucked btw -.-bt i love melee's unicorn. eventho it looked more like a dog. LOL ;p but still adorable all the same :)
dear bloggers,
let's just hope my theory above wont repeat itself again oky and pray tht i dnt hv to struggle again tonight just to close my eyes. amen.
signing off
xoxo aniss :]
hello world,
ohmygod,
i managed not to sleep at all last night. woots :) but dnt worry,the time was not wasted at all. i forced myself to finish my chemistry n physics reports. while chatting with saidah ketot and talking otp with L of course. wow,talk abt multitasking. i totally nailed it. again,woots :) by 4 in the morn,i was done with the reports,saidah ketot was busy doing her reports and L had dozed off. i was left all alone with nthing to do *sigh. so i decided to do a lil bit of reading. managed to finish one whole book by 5. yet again,woots :) by then,my family had started waking up one by one to for 'sahur'. since i cldnt sleep,i joined them for sahur eventho i cldnt fast. lol. after sahur i still cldnt go to sleep. so did a lil bit more of reading. when it was time for everyone to wake up for scl,i still wasnt asleep yet -.- so my mum asked me whether i wanted to go to scl. the throbbing in my head said it all. yeah,i did not go to scl :D i finally dozed off at 7 in the morn *sigh and woke up at 1 to L's txt -.- i did not managed to get my very needed 8 hrs sleep. oh well,my fault.
oh there's scl tmrw. and yess,i knw it's saturday tmrw. joy to the world -.- pfft
signing off
xoxo aniss :]
hello world,
keep me company anyone? :)
NOT signing off
xoxo aniss :]
hello world,
i skipped scl tday for a reason i wont mention here. woke up when the scl bell rang,yet again. had a 'house' marathon tday. only managed to watch four episodes. pfft -.- oh well,there's still tmrw. but i'm not skipping scl tmrw. i hv to submit my three chemistry lab reports and apparently one physics lab report which i jst found out abt -.- oky,pn N did tell us about it lst friday but i was totally blanked out when she gave us the lab report. lol,my bad. so yeah,it's gonna be a fun night. NOT -.-
asnysways,
as i didnt go to scl tday,i didnt knw abt the four new missing pages in the al-Quran until my sister told me. four pages go missing every single day. its like some kind of a sequence. i have not actually seen it with my own two eyes. even the thought terrified me a bit. it made me wonder about all the things tht i hv done. the bad ones for tht matter. then it made me realized tht i should rly change myself to be a better person. or atleast try to.
anw,i'm off to break my fast. i mean accompony my sister and brother to break their fast cause well i cant fast. you knw why. lol :D selamat berbuka :)
signing off
xoxo aniss :]
hello world,
apparently she thinks we're racist. my classmates and i. just because we dnt sit next to each other or talk to each other during lessons doesnt make us racists. no,definitley not. i mean,i thought tht we are not s'ppose to talk when the teachers are teaching -.- but we do talk to each other in between lessons. tht is exactly the reason why you can hear us all the way from the teachers room. just beacuse you were not there to witness it doesnt mean we dont do it. we do.
modern malay. is tht suppose to be some kind of an insult? cause it sure felt like it. wht do you mean by modern malay? we are still considered malay right. so wht's the problem with tht? -.-
signing off
xoxo aniss :]
hello world,
guys,guys,guys,guys,guys :)
- guys may be flirt
-guys are more emoti
-guys go crazy
-a guy who likes
-givin
-if a guy tells
-a usual
-guys love you more than you love them.
-guys use words
-if the guy does somet
-if a guy looks
-when a guy says he is going
-when a guy asks you to leave
-if a guy start
-when a guy looks
-guys reall
- guys would
-no guy can handl
ems on his own. he's just too stubb
-not all guys are rude.
-when a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to talk to you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.
-even if you dump a guy month
dont you just adore them? cause i knw i do. HAHA
hello world,
as i look into your eyes,
i see a very special person,
whom i chose out of the thousands.
it only took that one time,
and now you are,
the only thing in my mind,
the only one in my heart.
♥ L
xoxo aniss :]
hello world,
look,i found more pictures. yeay me :)
fret not,there are still more to cme :D till then,
signing off
xoxo aniss :]
